Stuff From Around Arkansas, July 10
Light posting lately because I’ve been busy and because I find much of the recent political news boring and inane.
Plus I put up a new bird feeder in the back yard last week and I’m locked in a titanic battle of wits with a squirrel who thinks it’s all his. To date, the squirrel is winning. Handily.
Anyway, here is some stuff. It comes from around Arkansas:
China Doll: Good news: House Speaker Robert “Robbie” Wills is headed to Taiwan! Bad news: He’s coming back! (Robbie Wills)
Area 51: Chalk up Republican Anna Grizzle and Democrat Craig Jones as candidates for House District 51. (The Tolbert Report)
Healthy Choice: Rep. Mike Ross and other Blue Dog Democrats put the bite on health care reform bill. (CNN)
Sex Angle: Was the mayor of Waldron murdered because he was paying his killer’s wife for sex? (Southwest Times Record)
Thinking Cap and Trade: Here’s Sen. Blanche Lincoln’s position on controversial cap and trade legislation. She’ll “do what’s right for Arkansas,” which I guess means she’ll vote against the bill and kick Sen. Harry Reid in the balls for even bringing it up. (Talk Business)
Delta Force: Advocacy group fears that Obama’s failure to appoint Delta Regional Authority leaders may lead to economic stagnation and poverty in the Delta. That would be terrible, if something like that were to happen. (Arkansas News Bureau)
Jackpot!: Quickest way to get rich: Winning the Arkansas lottery. Second quickest way: Working for the Arkansas lottery. (USA Today)
On the Waterfront: Unions are complaining about an anti-card check ad they claim is “false and misleading,” which probably means that it’s “funny and effective.” (Arkansas Times) Let’s take a look:
8 thoughts on “Stuff From Around Arkansas, July 10”
Seriously? You post a story about a sex scandel involving an Arkansas mayor getting killed by the husband of the woman he was paying to have sex and you attach a picture of a squirrel? Where is Kinkade and who took over his blog?
Don’t look at the squirrel as a problem, look at it as an opportunity. Make him your friend and you can create art. Like this: http://www.sugarbushsquirrel.com/
I don’t have time to go looking for pictures of hot chicks right now, as I’m locked into this struggle of wills with said squirrel. He’s the Rommel to my Patton.
You know, D.- Daisy makes some excellent products for your issues- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daisy_Outdoor_Products
I considered that, AFG, until I realized: That’s exactly what the squirrel would EXPECT me to do. No, I believe this one will come down to man vs. squirrel, and I will have to employ all my stealth and wiles, my wits and hands my only weapons….
I’ve thought on this for the afternoon and I think I have a solution.
This squirrel is hard to kill because he is wiley. He doesn’t trust anyone and if he sees you or a dog or a hawk or an alligator or a marmot or warthog or oscelot he runs. If there is any sort of animal that appears and said animal is not squirrel like, then he scampers off in fear. Right? So you either need to get a squirrel dog and put him in a squirrel costume or you need to sneak the dog out to within striking range of the squirrel.
No self respecting dog is going to dress up like a squirrel. So what you have to do is to get the dog out there in a way that doesn’t get the squirrel’s attention.
Here’s how you do it: Get a squirrel dog of your choice. Lets say a Mountain Fiest. Now give him a name. Lets name him “Boomer”! Now, take a hack saw and cut off Boomer’s feet. Take his feet out to where the squirrel runs about and leave them there. After a few weeks, when the squirrel has become accustomed to seeing Boomer’s feet, cut off Boomer’s legs and take them out and put them on his feet. Now you have four legs! But don’t put Boomer on his legs yet. In fact, you can think of it as having two dogs; Boomer and his brother, “Bleedy”.
So, after Bleedy has sat there for a week or so, cut off Boomer’s rump. Place that on Bleedy. Next week his abdomen, a week after that, his thorax, then his neck and finally his head! And viola! You have snuck Boomer out into the squirrel’s territory and the squirrel is none the wiser.
As soon as that squirrel comes buy, ole Boomer will snatch him right up.
You can thank me by a donation of money to reimburse me for the research involved in solving this problem. In other words, send me $200 so I can buy a new dog.
David I would like to suggest several instruments from a company called ACME.
They have several products to choose from including dynamite, anvils, and large rockets.
You may want to try the cave motif painted on the side of a mountain. I have had some success with this.
Thanks for the vido it was entertaining. This Arkie exploring his elected office options is not boring or inane. He will be worth watching.