I just finished watching the debut of “Huckabee,” Mike Huckabee’s new show on FOX News, and frankly I have no idea what the hell that was supposed to be.
The show opened with a short Huckabee monologue comprised of a couple of flat jokes followed by a strangely earnest commentary on the situation on Wall Street. (Summary: The problem is “greed.” Damn you, Gordon Gekko!).
The monologue segued into a bizarre Q&A session with the audience, in which audience members asked Huck questions about religion, politics and parenting (“Do you have any advice for a new couple just starting out and about to raise a family?”). This segment was, uh, strange. (Hey, look, there’s Mrs. Huckabee sitting in the audience!)
Things looked up a bit when the lovely Elisabeth Hasselbeck, co-host of ABC’s “The View,” strolled out as the first guest. But I’ll be honest, I kinda zoned out during this part, as I got lost in Elisabeth’s big brown eyes and started writing “Mrs. Elisabeth Kinkade” all over the cover of my notebook, and sketching out pictures of us holding hands under a rainbow. When I started paying attention again that stupid “Free Credit Report” commercial was playing. God, I hate that commercial.
Then we moved to a panel discussion on the economy and federal bail-outs with personal finance guru Dave Ramsey, former Congresswoman Geraldine Ferraro and some FOX Business chick with great cheekbones whose name I forget. They took two questions from the audience and then kind of gave up on that and went back to talking to each other. This segment was also weird, along with being long and rather lifeless.
When we hit the 45 minute mark, it occurred to me that I wasn’t sure how long this show was supposed to be. One hour? Two? I was praying that the show it was only 60 minutes, because I wasn’t sure I could sit through another hour of this. (Hey, look, there’s Sarah Huckabee sitting in the audience!)
After the final commercial break, we got a special surprise—the “Huckabee” house band! The band was called “The Little Rockers,” and it was comprised of folks from the FOX News crew who all like to play music, with the man himself on bass guitar. I presume this was a cost-cutting measure so they didn’t have to pay for professional musicians.
I have no idea what to say about this show; I’m just stringing together sentences. It wasn’t so much that it was bad as that it was just kind of uncomfortable, from beginning to end, and I felt sorry for everyone involved. Jason Tolbert of The Tolbert Report says he thought it was “fun,” which only reminds me that I never need to party with Jason Tolbert.
And really, I’m only writing this so that you’ll appreciate what I go through on your behalf to come up with content for this ridiculous blog. If you’re the masochistic sort, it will be on again at 10 p.m. on FOX News, and again Sunday evening at 7 p.m. I don’t recommend it.
But I think I’m starting to understand more fully why FOX News was so hesitant to do any promotional support for this show.