Duggar Watch: Wedding Reception Report

Anna and Josh Duggar
Anna and Josh Duggar

Arkansas Watch blogger Mark Moore has been inspecting his web traffic statistics and has learned the hard lesson I learned: No one cares what we think about politics or issues; our readers only want more about the Duggar family. I swear, sometimes I feel like I hardly know you.

An astute reader of market signals, Moore is giving the people what they ask for with a report from the wedding reception held up in northwest Arkansas for newlyweds Josh and Anna Duggar, with numerous candid photos. Head over to the Watch for much, much more, since you’re so damn obsessed.

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8 thoughts on “Duggar Watch: Wedding Reception Report

  • October 18, 2008 at 10:13 pm
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    I was gonna give you a heads up, but I see you found it fast. I haven’t even finished it yet.

    Reply
  • October 18, 2008 at 10:32 pm
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    Here’s the reality, Kincade, out of everything you’ve posted, the Duggar nuptials may be the most important. Josh is the first of the colony to claim a mate with which to move out and start a new colony. Soon the others will follow, each starting their own Duggar colony. There are 18 Duggar children (counting the soon to be born child). If those 18 have 18 kids themselves, that means that there will be 324 Duggar grandchildren. Each of those 324 Duggar grandkids will start a colony and if they have 18 kids, there will be 5,832 Duggars. And on, and on, and on…

    If you had paid attention to teaching of the most Reverend Tony Alamo you would know this; the Duggars are an alien species that have been sent to breed us into submission. They come from the planet Duggarite, a planet that circles Proximi Centauri, the star closest to our own. Their name is not “Duggar”. In fact, their name is not pronounceable by humans as they communicate through telepathy. They have taken that name simply because it mimics the guttural call that their females make when they begin the birthing process.

    They take human mates and mix their alien DNA with human DNA in an attempt to breed a race of super humans that will be loyal to the Duggarite supreme ruler whose name sounds similar to “Hawlcrot Gruntbuggle”. Each colony will spread out from the original central colony, conquering territory as it moves. Soon, there will be two castes in the world; Duggarians and “the lesser.” At first the lessers will be used to tend to the needs of the Duggarians but in time, slave ships will appear and begin the process of moving all humans off to work as slaves in the vast Duggarian empire. The Empire has the power to simply invade and crush us, but they have a bizarre belief system that requires them to punish us (and all their vicitms, as far as that goes) by kidnapping them in flying saucers, anally probing them in the name of science, and making their vicitms appear on Sally Jessy Rafael to talk about the experience and be humliated.

    So, we watch with interest because we know what this means for our world. With the advent of Josh’s marriage, we are beginning to see the establishment of new Duggarian colonies. We know that our time is short and soon we will be slave labor to be sent off to the neutron mines found in the system of Tau Ceti. We are watching the beginning of our own demise.

    Reply
  • October 19, 2008 at 6:15 am
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    Mark,
    You have to move pretty fast to stay ahead of my RSS feed.

    Rex,
    Somewhere, Douglas Adams is looking down and smiling on you with warm paternal affection.
    D.

    Reply
  • October 19, 2008 at 9:16 am
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    Rex,

    I, for one, welcome our new Duggarian overlords.

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  • October 21, 2008 at 12:27 pm
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    I don’t see what the problem is that people have with the Duggars. Granted, they do have an insane number of children, but so what. That’s THEIR choice (you Democrats are all for choice, right?). It’s nice to see a loving family raising children with some good morals these days.

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  • October 22, 2008 at 9:22 pm
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    Stephanie,
    Who said anyone had a problem with the Duggars? You are right, it is their choice. They seem to be very nice, very sincere, good Chrisitian people. But the Duggars know that the 245 children they have spawned is unusual and strange. If it wasn’t they wouldn’t be on TV. You don’t get on TV with a show called “Two Children and Preggers Again!” (eek…did I say Preggers? Who am I, a writer for Teen Beat magazine?) They’ve made an issue of it and got some attention for it. We are just poking a little fun at them. No harm, no foul. Just good clean fun. No one is demeaning them. Its just really unusual for one family to have so many kids. So we’re having fun with it.
    I’m a Repub, so this isn’t some Democrat conspiracy. It isn’t about faith or about ideology. It is about the fact that they have a buttload of kids and it is sort of funny. How’d you like to have to keep up with them all? Geeze, it would be next to impossible. They have to spend a million dollars at Christmas time. Where do you put all the little bronzed baby booties? I mean really, it must be an organizational nightmare. If Michelle Duggar were in charge of FEMA, Katrina would have been childs play to her compared with Sunday dinner. And I bet she’s given enough spankings to wear out three elbows. If anything, I’m in awe of her and Jim Bob. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to try what they’ve done because I’d lose track of four or five kids and would get written up by DHS. I have enough trouble keeping up with my dog and she is usually contained in a fenced in area.
    I’m glad for Josh and as I said before, I think his bride is a lovely lady. I know they’ll have a long happy marriage…and probably have enough kids to invade a small Central American nation. Good for them.

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  • October 23, 2008 at 12:23 am
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    Fourche – One can only hope that Teen Beat (excellent hybrid of teen mag names there, haha) doesn’t find the need to use “preggers” too often 😉

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  • December 24, 2008 at 10:34 pm
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    What a beautiful family!

    Reply

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