Left-wing protestors against Ted Cruz got baptized last night by Payne Harding, the chef and owner of Cache Restaurant, after they blocked customers from entering and exiting his restaurant.
Harding apologized today after one of the damp protestors filed a police report. According to the Arkansas Times, they were protesting the restaurant Cruz was patronizing because of his “Dominion Theology that would cast the United States as a Christian nation governed by Biblical law, as interpreted on the right.”
My deep theological analysis of this statement is “cool story, bro.”
I went to Cruz’s first speech in Little Rock at the GOP headquarters to investigate whether he might make me a colonel in the Dominion Army in the event of his election.
Cruz did spend time talking about religious topics, but his discussion was largely confined to the federal government’s attacks on religious organizations.
Cruz said at the speech:
(What) I intend to do on my first day in office is instruct the Department of Justice and the IRS and every other federal agency that the persecution of religious liberty ends today. Many of you all are familiar with the Little Sisters of the Poor. Little Sisters of the Poor are a Catholic charity of nuns…they’ve taken vows of poverty. They’ve spent their lives taking care of the poor and the elderly. Right now, today, the Obama administration is litigating against the Little Sisters of the Poor. Trying to impose millions of dollars of fines under Obamacare on the nuns in order to force them to pay for abortion-inducing drugs. Let me give you all a real simple rule of thumb: if you’re litigating against nuns, you’ve probably done something wrong.
You can read more about the lawsuit Cruz references here.
Contrary to the fears of those soaked protestors, there were no references to Dominion Theology, adding the book of Hezekiah to the United States’s founding documents, or making Joel Osteen the Secretary of Education in Cruz’s administration.