The Arkansas Project

11 Responses to “We Did It!: Arkansas in Top Five for Teen Pregnancy”

1. Elizabeth Says:
   January 7th, 2009 at 2:48 pm

   Abstinence only education at its finest!

2. Freeman Hunt Says:
   January 7th, 2009 at 4:56 pm

   Abstinence only education or a continual lessening of the stigma associated with teen sex?

3. Freeman Hunt Says:
   January 7th, 2009 at 4:58 pm

   Wait…

   Are they counting birth rates or pregnancies? An increase in birth rates may be attributable to a decline in abortion. Does the CDC study have info on both?

4. David Kinkade Says:
   January 7th, 2009 at 5:10 pm

   Freeman,
   Since I’m sophomoric and immature and only posted this as a vehicle for a Dwayne Dobbins punchline—oh, how I’ve missed him!—I didn’t read the report, but it’s right here for all you policy wonks out there.

   http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/09newsreleases/teenbirth.htm

   D.

5. Fourche River Rex Says:
   January 7th, 2009 at 6:24 pm

   Well, I’m glad I haven’t been having all that sex with teenagers for nothing. Finally, I can sit back and bask in the triumph of my powerful semen. Honestly, its about time. I’m tired!
   But how else was I to raise an army to take on the Duggars and the Singleton-Snyders? As no one human female can out do Michelle Duggar, my only choice was to breed with multiple females. I picked the most nubile, fertile females with which to mate. It 18 years time, no one will be able to stop my army of Fourche River super-mutants, who are really pissed off and confused because they had no stable father figure in their lives. I shall call myself Cobra Commander and will force Kincade to wear a silver metal mask and call himself “Destro”. I shall take these angry children, move to a remote island and create the ultimate fighting force which I will use to try to take over the world. I shall rule with an iron fist and a mirrored blast shield…except on more casual days when I’ll just wear a navy colored hood with eye holes.
   Three cheers for my loins! Hurray! Huzzah! COBRA!

6. David Kinkade Says:
   January 7th, 2009 at 7:13 pm

   Oh, great, thanks, Rex. Now I’m going to be the target of an FBI investigation when they come looking for your IP address. I hope when you’re convicted they give you one of those ankle bracelet monitors with the Amber Alert signal built right in.
   D.

7. michaelk Says:
   January 7th, 2009 at 8:49 pm

   Don’t worry David, your safe. As long as he keeps misspelling Kinkade they will never catch on, and even if they do, it sets up for a nice appeal. Aren’t you related to the guy that does all the soft-light cottage paintings? I’m sure he could afford a nice lawyer for you.

8. Fourche River Rex Says:
   January 7th, 2009 at 8:56 pm

   When I rule the world with my army of bastard children, he will spell his name the way I say he will.
   And I’ll have none of his Scots foolishness, either. With his kilts and pipes and dancing around naked in the heather. I’ll give him a proper English name and he’ll like it. How about David Griswold? Or David Thistlewait? A proper English name will do him well.

9. Elizabeth Says:
   January 8th, 2009 at 5:29 pm

   Rex – I’m not a prude by any means – but, please, for the love of readers’ imaginations, put the pipe down for a while before you post.

10. Fourche River Rex Says:
    January 8th, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    Sorry, Elizabeth. I offer you this tribute to Republicans everywhere to make it up…
    http://rathergood.com/elephants

11. Joe Says:
    January 9th, 2009 at 10:55 am

    I almost bought some land on the Fourche once. But when I walked the boundaries, I could catch glimpses of a compound with what appeared to be women from Girls Gone Wild guarding the periphery. That was a nice benefit indeed, but I couldn’t deal with what sounded like a couple hundred crying babies and a dozen or so women in labor.

    Thanks to this blog, now I know!