The inimitable Onion does it yet again with this headline gem:
Quick, which Arkansas Congressman could be at the root of the Capitol Hill epidemic? I’m betting it’s Rep. Mike Ross:
While Senate leaders would not release the name of the blood-feeding parasite’s original host, many legislators speculated Tuesday that the epidemic started with that one gross Arkansas representative who always wears sweatpants.
Go ahead and read it all. I don’t think I oversell it when I say that it’s approximately 10 million times better than any story coming out of the Arkansas legislature today.